Family isn’t always Family

Why hey ya’ll! How’s it goin? I am blessed and cool under this shade tree with my Tea! I just love those cool days when I can sit under the tree, relaxing, with not a care in the world. Just me, the shade, and my tea. Not for long though. I can always count on my two little ones, my dogs, of course, to interrupt me. They come running, jump up on the hammock, all excited, and then just plop right there and go off to a nap. Why do I have to move to make you comfortable? They are the epitome of family.

You know?! The one who always gives out a great big hug just when you need it. Or the cousin who makes you laugh at nothing funny at all. Some of us have that Aunt that always wants her way or no way. Or that Uncle that is always drunk at the family holiday, asking for money from the kids. I have a brother like that, well used to. Now he’s going to be upset with me writing this, but it’s ok. I love my family with all my heart. But sometimes you have to just get away. Or move away in my case! I just left, moved to Alabama, because I could not take the selfishness and in-consideration for others any longer.

Please allow me to be specific. At the time, 14 years ago, my brother was an Alcoholic. I say was, because he is no longer, and has been sober for quite some time. It took him years to get himself together, to get support from those willing to endure his attitudes, his countless disappearing acts, his anger. But he did it, and I am so proud of him.

That brings me to the title of this blog. Family isn’t always family. If it was not for my brother’s best friend, and in-laws, (ie; sister and brother-in-law), I am not sure where he would be. I had been through enough with my abusive ex-husband for the last ten years. I did not want to endure another ten. I was trying to get myself together. My life was a mess, my self-confidence, my attitude towards men, everything. So when I had enough of family, I packed up and left.

We are still in contact. Just spoke to him two days ago as a matter of fact. We have mended old wounds, and are rather close I would think. We still have our differences, but nothing will ever break us apart completely except for the big D.  But now the roles have changed. No, I do not have an addiction. Well, maybe chocolate. What I mean is that I am now down here in Alabama, with no family, except my husband’s side. I love them all, but there is nothing like your own. I miss my family dearly. However, I do not miss them enough to leave Alabama. No, I will stay right here. But the circle of friends that I have is awesome! I have made myself a family through non-family. We are closer than most of my real family. Like I said, family is not always family.

I love the South. There is nothing that would or could pull me from here. For a long time, I was a transient of sorts. I could not sit still. Just could not find my place in this big ‘ol world. But now, I have, and I am in love with my life. I am in love with a great husband, wonderful children, and five awesome grandsons, and one precious granddaughter. All of which, are not my blood, but my husband’s children. I could never birth my own. I love them like they were my own, and I believe they love me! Holidays are the biggest ordeal with us. So, why would I leave? It is ok to get homesick once in a while, but that’s it. After a point, reality has to set in and get back to our lives, whatever that may be. 

Speaking of which, I have to get up and go cook dinner. We cook every night in the south. Whether big or small, dinner is always on the table by sundown. And ya have to have a Desert! It’s a Southern thing I think.

So, in the meantime, think about the important people in your lives. Tell them often how important they are to you. Blood or not, family is family. It is rare that we find others we can rely on in these days and times. Someone to listen, without judgment, and be there to pick us up, without question. Make sure your “Family” knows just how much they mean to you. Do not let too much time slip away, or it may end up being too late.

Until next time, stay blessed, stay southern sweet, and I will have your tea waiting.

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